I’m feeling a little overwhelmed here on the farm. The farm is not the culprit or even a part of being the culprit. In fact, I don’t think the farm has ever been the root cause of me feeling overwhelmed. Maybe it’s because I am so thankful for this little homestead. Sure, we have our problems and things go wrong, but to the point of being overwhelmed?
I feel overwhelmed because of other things. Let me give you a little update.
Some of you know I am expecting and know that I have a history of having stillborns and miscarriages. The good news, no, the ecstatic news is that everything is going great with this pregnancy! I am 29 weeks along and this little baby girl is so precious to me. I cherish her movements, seeing her on the ultrasound and feeling her hiccups. I am in love!
Being pregnant is not the overwhelming part. But last week I found out that the doctor wants me to come in twice a week for a non stress test, once a week for a bio-physical and once a week for my regular OB appointments. The doc is 45 minutes away. Now, normally this wouldn’t put me on edge. I know it is all for the best and am so thankful they are keeping a close eye on Eliana.
On top of that, I homeschool. Still, not too much of a big deal really. I can work around that.
And I coach middle school girls basketball almost every evening. That is what put me over the top. Basketball isn’t over until about two weeks before the baby will be born.
Have you ever had something come along that just did you in? Nothing bad, but something that just made you feel so overwhelmed? I mean, how the heck can we get it all done? If I knew how much time I would be at the hospital, I would never had taken on the coaching position.
Sometimes those nasty, negative thoughts start to come along.
Surely people don’t expect me to do all of this.
Surely someone will help take over the basketball team.
Surely they know better than to ask me to do anything else right now, I mean my goodness, how inconsiderate.
Surely my husband knows how much I have on my plate and doesn’t expect a whole lot from me right now.
Surely, surely surely!
The fact is, sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, and those extra responsibilities take away from the things we really would rather be doing. Like, I’d rather be relaxing at home more, enjoying homeschooling without rushing and enjoying this pregnancy without being nervous about a game or worrying about getting a practice plan ready. I have nine brand new players on my team. Nine. That is pretty challenging.
I’d rather be blogging more. I’d rather be writing about my essential oils journey here on the farm. I’d rather be…you know, just be.
But right now, I just can’t find the time. I don’t blame it on the doctors. I’m thankful for them. I don’t blame it on homeschooling. I love to have my kids at home learning some pretty awesome stuff. I blame it on myself, for taking on more responsibilities that aren’t that important in the big scheme of things.
Once I began to take full responsibility for what is going on in my life, all of those ‘surelys’ left my mind. What I needed to do is find the blessings in my life right now. Find the gold, sometimes hidden, and focus on how truly wonderful my life is.
I have a living baby growing inside of me and so far she is doing great. That in itself is enough to make me shout for joy!
I have an awesome husband who knows I’m stretched to my limit and he is my rock, my encourager and does not expect any extras from me.
My children aren’t demanding of me. They know how important it is for me to be at home when I have the chance and don’t expect me to make any special trips anywhere.
And for the most part, this farm is sleepily coming along in the winter months and oddly enough, as far as I can tell, our goats are not due to have babies until spring. They normally have babies this month.
I just had an extreme urge to knock on wood.
But, I decided to focus on these verses instead.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Phillipians 4:6-9
These verses are really the secret to a peace-filled life. Absolutely beautiful.