Sweet little Eliana was born March 3rd and she couldn’t be any more perfect. I apologize for not posting sooner, but she has taken up most of my time. And I wouldn’t change that for the world!
This little gal is something special. Not that my other children aren’t special, but after losing so many, including two stillborns, the birth of Eliana almost seemed too good to be true.
There were some things I dreamed about before going into labor. For one, I just wanted to go into the labor and delivery room happy. Twice I have gone into labor with so much heartache, so much emptiness and longing, knowing I would deliver my child dead. So this time, my husband and I were beyond happy. We were ecstatic! We were all smiles and at that moment it seemed like a dream, a wonderful dream.
I had three natural births and being induced with all of my others, I chose to get an epidural with the rest, including this one. Some might think that because I do almost everything naturally here on the farm, that I should have a natural birth. But, after going through a very painful birth with my fourth child who had a huge head, I decided that I was done with the natural route. Been there, done that, and I’m good thank you very much.
But, this epidural had me thinking maybe I should’ve gone natural.
I had a little scare with my blood pressure dropping to 66/40, but after getting that under control, things went pretty smooth. I went from being dilated to six centimeters to 10 in under 10 minutes. That was a little scary and brought so many emotions. The anesthesiologist did a botched job with my epidural and so I could still feel a good bit of pain and had some other issues along with it. Little did I know that little Eliana was sunny side up.
This was the moment I’d been waiting for for so long. The moment I would see this little gal for the first time. I’d seen her so many times in ultrasounds, but to see her for real? Oh my!
As I pushed, the first thing the doc and nurses said was that she was coming out forehead, eyes and nose first. Her heartbeat dropped a bit with each push and I could tell the doctor wanted her out asap. So, he had me look back at the cross on the wall behind me with each push. Maybe the position was supposed to help me push her out. All I know is it worked. With four contractions, she was out. And she was crying! And she was beautiful!
I bawled. My husband cried. We were a mess, but it was a good mess. I held her and just couldn’t believe that she was real. She was perfect. She had bruising on her forehead and around her eyes from coming out sunny side up, but she was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
And she was so soft! Warm, alive. It’s amazing how we can take life for granted. This little life in my arms brought me such an intense love. A deep deep love. A love that I wanted so much to pour out to my other little ones but couldn’t. Was this for real? So much heartache before just made this delivery so surreal. God did answer! Oh my, did He answer!
She showed her dimples almost immediately. She was perfect. Did I already say that?
I found out later that pushing a sunny side up baby out with four contractions was not too common. It’s usually a long and drawn out process. I am so thankful I wasn’t the norm!
She’s the apple of my eye.
My little pumpkin.
There were some who didn’t think I should ever get pregnant again. Why chance having to go through another loss, they said? But, I held on to God’s promise. I didn’t want to take matters into my own hands, never knowing if He would’ve answered. I had to trust Him completely with my body, my womb. That was not easy!
Eliana means God has answered. I am forever grateful.