Life with teens on the homestead is a grand adventure. Challenging, yet rewarding. The above picture was taken two years ago for their first day of school. Yep, we like to do things a little differently. I used to have this vision about my kids when they became teenagers here on the homestead:
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They would work on the homestead like their life depended on it and with smiles on their faces…
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They would never whine or complain or try to pass the work on to the next sibling in line…
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They would embrace all that I embraced, even weeding…
I bet you can see where this is going. My vision now is a little different. It’s about me just raising decent human beings and surviving to tell about it.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration and there’s more to it than that. I really do enjoy the teen years immensely. If you are like me and enjoy roller coaster rides, then you might enjoy these years as well. There never is a dull moment. My life is busier now than when they were younger. A different busy. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this? Where’s the self help books that warn you about how much busier your life will get the older your kids get? I’m a little salty about that.
Anyway, back to the homestead. Yes, they can do more on the homestead. No, they aren’t perfect and complain or try to pass the chore I gave them on to a younger sibling. Yes, they take care of the animals more thoroughly. No, they aren’t perfect and make mistakes usually because they took a lazy shortcut to get something done. Yes, they enjoy working with the animals for the most part. No they don’t particularly like goats. Gasp! Let me pick myself up off the floor. One of the most popular phrases I hear from them is, “I thought (insert a sibling’s name) was supposed to do that.”
I have three teens at this time. Three. I also have an adult child, a middle schooler and a toddler. I go from talking to my oldest about jobs and career moves to dealing with my three year old not wanting to go to the bathroom by herself. And then there’s the ten year old, who is somewhere in between embracing this homesteading life and trying to be like his teen siblings.
Gone are the days when they would get so excited to milk a goat on their own. Gone are the days when they grin from ear to ear after we told them they were old enough to gather the eggs. Gone are the days they looked forward to showing their goat. Gone I tell ya.
But here is what I can tell you. They STILL do their chores, even after getting home late. They still do more than the average teenager. They are strong, physically and mentally. They attribute catching chickens to their awesome defensive skills in basketball. They know they have been set apart from most teens and are privileged to have what they have. They never complain about living on a farm. They never wished they lived in a neighborhood. They do love it here, on this little homestead, out in the middle of nowhere. They do have a sense of humor. Every single one of them.
So if you’re homesteading with teens who are most likely active in sports or other activities and have a social life(which, by the way, all teens should have a social life outside the homestead), you might be familiar with what I am saying. And you might be ready to throw in the towel and give in to their complaints or laziness. You might think it’s easier to just let them play their video games instead of pulling teeth to finish their chores.
You might even consider just quitting the homestead altogether and make sports their life, or whatever it is they are involved in. I encourage you to stay the course, and expect nothing less from your teens, even when they get home late from a ballgame. Sure they can have attitudes and whine and complain. Expect it at times, but don’t give in to those attitudes. Now more than ever, they need to be taught that actions or inactions have consequences. Irresponsibility on the farm can lead to big consequences! You might get some complaints when you don’t give in to their laziness. You might be on their bad side for awhile. You might even get the silent treatment for a day.
But when the day is over, they will respect you more. And by not allowing them to succumb to their laziness, you are in turn nurturing their God-given potential as adults. Take a look around you. Listen to business owners when they are trying to hire a good, decent human being who knows how to work. What’s the usual consensus? They can’t find anyone to fit the bill.
Let’s love our teens where they are at and respect them, and at the same time build them up by expecting more from them, not less. Keep instilling that work ethic in your kids. Life doesn’t have to stop on the homestead just because your kids turned their noses up at it. Don’t give up on them. They are our future. My teens are a work in progress. Aren’t we all? Just the other day, I found out someone didn’t unload a bag of grain and it was ruined. It burns me up a bit when this stuff happens. Someone apparently passed the buck to someone else and so on. The one ultimately in charge had to pay me the cost of that bag of grain. Consequences. If I had a bad temper I would’ve dumped the soggy grain over their head. Hmmm, not such a bad idea…
Really though, I love’em. My teenagers are going to make something of themselves. And one day they will look back and realize all the hard and sometimes weird stuff they had to do on the homestead played a big part in making them a better person.